


Funny But It Seems I Always Wind Up Here With You

by perfect_plan



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff, Longtime friends, M/M, kind of cheesy but cute cheesy, realizing you're in love with your best friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-16
Updated: 2015-03-16
Packaged: 2018-03-18 04:30:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3556100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perfect_plan/pseuds/perfect_plan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The moment it hit Steve that he was in love with Bucky wasn't anything special. He wasn't sure if it was meant to be; do birds suddenly appear when you realize you're in love with someone?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Funny But It Seems I Always Wind Up Here With You

**Author's Note:**

> This was just an excuse to write cheesy fluff between working on some other fics.

The moment it hit Steve that he was in love with Bucky wasn't anything special. He wasn't sure if it was meant to be; do birds suddenly appear when you realize you're in love with someone? Butterflies and stars and hearts and all that crap? No, it hit him in the most banal of ways which somehow made it all the more terrifying and exciting. It must have been a long time coming, he _must_ have known already? But Steve couldn't say for sure. All he knew was that one minute he was fine and the next he was head-over-heels in love with his best friend.

***

"So I'm ready to kill Lukin by this point, smug bastard sitting there talking about _my_ project like it was his - "

Steve tried to hide a smile as Bucky talked a mile a minute on Monday evening, sitting up on the kitchen counter next to him as he cooked. He loved how animated Bucky got whenever he was telling a particularly exciting story - eyes wide, hands gesturing fast, reliving the moment as if he were there. He'd been the same since they were kids, whether he was telling Steve about an episode of The Guyver he'd seen the night before (always without his parents knowing - his mom would _not_ have been happy about him watching it) or his first kiss with his first girlfriend (their good friend Nat who still to this day would tease Bucky about how sloppy and terrible it was).

Steve could still remember the first day they had met and decided that the other was the best thing in the world and they _had_ to be friends. Steve had been nine years-old and Tim Dugan had been ranting excitedly about He-Man and how neat he was and how amazing it would be to be him blah blah blah and Steve had kept quiet for as long as he could because he didn't like interrupting people, even if they were talking a load of poop. He had been working himself up to say He-Man wasn't _that_ great when the new kid, James, who had been hovering on the edge of the conversation stepped forward.

"He-Man's a wuss. Skeletor is _so_ much cooler than him."

Steve had perked up and watched as Tim had eyed James, his face creasing into disbelief. "No, he _isn't_. He-Man has a sword and Battle Cat and Castle Greyskull."

"Skeletor has a sword and Panthor and Snake Mountain," James had said.

"And a Havok Staff! Skeletor has a Havok Staff..." Steve had finally blurted out.

Everyone had turned to look at him because Steve didn't talk all that often. He had suddenly felt like he should have just kept his mouth shut but then he had looked up to see James watching him with a huge smile on his face.

" _He_ knows what's cool." James had immediately stepped over to Steve and flung an arm across his shoulders as Tim had started braying about something else but by then they had both stopped listening.

"You really think Skeletor is better?" James had said; he had bright eyes that sparkled with mischief.

Steve had nodded. "He-Man is boring. Skeletor has all the fun, even if he does lose every time."

Bucky's grin had widened even further. "I'm Bucky and you're awesome."

After that, they couldn't be found less than two feet away from each other. It had been that way for the next twenty-two years. They had changed a lot but some things still remained constant and seeing that Bucky was still the boy he always was in many ways made Steve feel happy and safe.

" - and I called him on it in front of everyone and he just looked at me like _I_ was the one who ripped _him_ off. Can you believe that fuckin' prick?"

"That's terrible, Buck. What are you going to do?"

Bucky sighed and leaned back against the kitchen tiles. "I don't know. I haven't got anything to back up that it was _my_ idea in the first place." He groaned and rubbed his eyes. "Sorry, I've been so wrapped up in this shit I didn't even ask you how your day was." He turned his head and smiled at Steve.

"It was fine," Steve said as he added some more coconut milk to the Thai green curry on the stove. "I spilled coffee on my crotch and started talking to myself about The Walking Dead. The usual."

Bucky laughed then, his shoulders shaking and Steve grinned at him. He loved making Bucky laugh. He loved how he laughed with his whole body. He loved how Bucky's eyes crinkled in the corners when he smiled and looked at Steve like he was the best kind of idiot. He loved how...he loved...he loved Bucky. He barely had time to process the realization as it hit him because Bucky reached into the pan and took a prawn, made noises because it was too hot, shoved it into his mouth anyway and then shrieked as it burned his tongue.

Steve hit him on the arm. "Will you stop eating the damn prawns? We won't have any left."

Bucky stuck out his tongue, jumped down off of the counter and opened the cutlery drawer, rummaging for forks. "What do you want to watch while we eat? It's your turn to choose." He opened the fridge and Steve could hear bottles clinking.

Steve was impressed by how calm he felt despite just having had the biggest fucking epiphany of his entire life and he set the pan with the rice to one side. "We could start on Fargo? It just came onto Netflix."

"Ooh, good call. Beer?"

"Duh."

Bucky flicked Steve's ear and bounced over to the couch. Steve finally took a breath and stared down into the pan, watching the prawns and the shiitake mushrooms bubble. He was in love with Bucky. Had he always been in love with him? They had been best friends forever, went to school together, went to college together and now they lived together. Steve couldn't remember a day in his life that Bucky hadn't been a part of in some way. He didn't want to think about the possibility that someday he might not be. The thought made his heart feel heavy and he wanted to tell him right then how he felt but he knew he wouldn't, not until he had a chance to really think this through. It terrified him to think that he was actually considering it though.

He didn't hear Bucky come back into the kitchen until a hand was on his shoulder and he started slightly.

"You okay, Stevie? You look funny." Bucky was studying him with amused concern.

Steve just gave him a little smile. "I'm fine. I just can't remember how much green curry paste I put in here."

Bucky scooped a huge spoonful out of the open pot next to the stove and plopped it in the pan before Steve could protest. "Never hurts to add more."

They watched Fargo with their eyes red and watering and noses running from how hot the curry turned out to be and Bucky promised Steve that was the last time he'd ever "help" with the cooking.

***

"I think I'm in love with Bucky," Steve said to Sam when they met for lunch the next day.

He almost laughed when Sam's hand stilled halfway to his mouth and his pasta fell from his fork in a perfect moment of unintentional comedy timing. It would have been hilarious had Steve not been wound up and petrified and a million other emotions in-between as the words left his mouth.

Sam put his fork down. "For real? Like...for _real_?"

Steve nodded. "Yep. For real."

Sam gave Steve his full attention. That was one of the great things about him; he never half-assed it when it came to important discussions. He would happily let his lunch go cold to listen to whatever Steve had to say without distraction.

"So...how long?"

Steve put his own fork down, not really enjoying the niçoise salad he'd ordered. "Forever, I think."

"And you've only just realized it now?"

Steve nodded.

Sam sat back and folded his arms. "Are you going to tell him?"

"I don't know," Steve sighed. "I don't want to say anything and he doesn't feel the same way and I ruin everything that we have."

"Well, I don't think that would happen. It might be awkward, yeah, but you know that Bucky would never think any different of you."

Steve laughed softly. "It just kind of hit me last night. I'm in love with him. I think I always have been." It felt good to say it out loud.

"Did Peggy know, do you think?" Sam asked.

"She always knew I wasn't really _there_ in the relationship. I don't know if she thought that I might have had feelings for Bucky though. If she did, she never mentioned it. I don't think even _I_ really knew at that point."

Peggy had been Steve's one major relationship and they had parted amiably. They were better friends than lovers and had decided four months into their romantic relationship that it wasn't really working. She lived back in England now and they still stayed in touch.

Sam rubbed a hand over his chin. "How do you feel about all of this?"

Steve considered this for a moment. "Scared, but good. It just kind of...makes sense."

"How?"

"I don't know," Steve laughed.

Sam picked up his fork again and shuffled his pasta around, his brow knitting slightly like he was thinking back and remembering something. "When I first met you both I actually thought you _were_ a thing."

Steve grinned. "Really?"

Steve hadn't been friends with Sam all that long. Six months ago they had gone to a dinner party at Tony's (he was the only person Steve knew who threw dinner parties) and Sam had come along with Clint and Nat. They had hit it off immediately and Sam had been cemented as part of their circle of friends. He was easy to talk to, non-judgemental about pretty much everything and Steve confided in him almost as much as he did with Bucky.

"Yeah. You were always together, always touching each other - I mean, not heavy petting or anything, just one of you always had a hand on the other in some way. It was only like the seventh or eighth time we all went out that I realised you _weren't_ a couple. So thinking about it now, yeah - it does kind of make sense, to an outsiders point of view at least. Makes sense that Buck might feel the same way about you too." Sam glanced up at him finally.

Steve gave a long exhale out of his nose and stared down at his salad. "Maybe. I don't want to assume though."

Sam nodded. "I understand that. It's not exactly the kind of thing you can just come out and ask him. What are you going to do?"

"I have no idea." Steve poked a caper with his finger.

Sam just nodded, unsure of what to suggest. "You guys are going to Nat's 30th on Saturday, right?"

"And watch her kill Clint in public for organising a surprise party? I'm not missing that for anything."

***

Steve lay in bed that evening, his Kindle resting on his chest because no matter how many times he read the same page over and over again, nothing was sinking in. Bucky had come in from work that evening grouchy and pissed but Steve felt like he'd just missed a step coming down some stairs or had slipped briefly on some ice but had regained his balance instead of falling over as soon as he'd walked through their apartment door. That had never happened before; he was always pleased to see Bucky at the end of the day or if he hadn't seen him for a day or two when he went to visit his sister, but the feeling of his insides rearranging themselves in pure joy had never been a thing. He had just waved from the couch and listened to Bucky as he recounted his awful day, trying not to focus too much on the curve of Bucky's throat and got up to get him a beer and a muffin, relishing the grateful smile he received.

He sighed and put his Kindle on the bedside table and then turned off his lamp. He was screwed.

***

Steve was standing in the kitchen the next morning checking his emails on his phone and waiting for the coffee maker to finish burbling. Bucky walked in dressed as he always did for work, in a smart tailored suit that made him look confident and commanding even though he told Steve that it always made him feel like a little boy playing dress-up. Steve was wearing a pair of jeans that may not have been washed for at least six weeks and a slightly-too-big black Stark Industries t-shirt that Tony had given him for Christmas.

Steve took a bite of banana and indicated to Bucky's mug. "Coffee'll be two minutes."

Bucky gave him a nod and then snorted out a giggle. "Steve, you are a mess and a half."

He pointed to the front of Steve's t-shirt. There was a big blob of toothpaste just over the I of Industries. Steve groaned around his mouthful of banana but Bucky was already at the sink, running a cloth under the tap.

He stepped over to Steve with a grin on his face. "It's a good job you work from home; you're totally unfit for appearing in public like _ever_." He gently wiped the toothpaste from the front of Steve's shirt.

Steve watched as Bucky scrubbed the stain, his mouth quirked in a fond smile. He was taller and broader than Steve and it was only when they were stood close like this that it was more apparent. Steve's heart started to beat a little bit quicker and he swallowed, glancing up at Bucky as he threw the cloth in the sink and turned back, resting his hands on Steve's shoulders.

"There we go, honey. Good as new."

Steve smiled and was going to say thanks but stared at Bucky a beat too long instead, his head giddy from the heat of Bucky's hands on his slender shoulders, caught up in how good it felt to be stood so close together. Bucky's own smile softened slightly and his lips parted as if he was about to say something when the coffee maker clicked. They both turned and Steve quickly stepped away, aware that he must have tightened his hold on the banana in his hand because it was oozing slightly.

"Can I get your opinion on something?" he called over his shoulder as he headed to his drafting table in the corner of the living room.

Steve heard the clinking of mugs and coffee being poured. Bucky walked over to the workspace and set a mug down next to Steve, sipping from his own as he waited for Steve to shuffle through a bunch of papers and pull out the sheet he was looking for. It was a rough illustration for a new activity book he was working on.

"Okay, the squirrel has to get through this maze but he has to collect all six acorns before he can get out. Can you just try and complete it and make sure I haven't made any stupid mistakes? I _hate_ designing mazes."

Bucky chuckled and put his mug down. "You draw so many of them; you think you'd be good at it by now." He was tracing a finger around the maze, trying to get from one acorn to the next.

"I usually get templates to work from and just jiggle them around a little but the publisher wanted me to "step it up" with this one and design something new." Steve twirled his mechanical pencil around in his hand, watching Bucky but trying not to make it obvious that he was watching.

"Well, you've drawn it so I can only get to four acorns and there's no way actually _out_ of the maze. Gimme that," he took Steve's pencil and lightly marked where Steve had managed to make the maze impossible.

Steve smiled. "You're a great puzzle tester. Thanks Buck."

"Anytime. Ugh, I'd better head off. You know, I used to look forward to going to work? Now I just feel dread all the time." He fiddled with his tie.

Steve patted him on the arm. "Things will work out. Someone else will eventually see Lukin for the fraud that he is."

Bucky sighed. "Let's hope so because I get closer to _punching_ him every day and I don't know how much longer my temper can hold out. See you later." He gave Steve's shoulder a little squeeze and picked up his work bag and jacket and was out of the door. Steve stared at nothing for a minute or two, his mind full of what-ifs and maybes before he got back to work.

***

The next couple of days were odd; now that Steve had admitted his feelings to himself, he was looking for any sign that Bucky might feel the same way. But he had no idea what he was looking for because Bucky just acted the same way he always did around Steve. There was nothing to indicate that he felt any way about Steve other than his best friend.

He was having a tough time of it at work, more so as each day went on. Whoever this Lukin asshole was, he was set on making life a living hell for Bucky and he came home on Wednesday grim-faced and morose. On Thursday, Steve decided to make Bucky's favorite meal for him as a surprise when he finished work to try and cheer him up, at least a little. He went to the grocery store down the block and picked up all the ingredients for a Melanzane Parmigiana. It was 2:30pm now and Bucky wouldn't be back until at least 6pm; Steve had his own deadlines and work and making Melanzane Parmigiana was slightly time consuming (at least the way he made it) but he was ahead enough to be able to step back from his drafting table and besides, he really wanted to do this.

He chose a playlist on his phone and sang along quietly as he cut and salted the eggplant, enjoying being away from his pens and set squares and looking forward to seeing Bucky's face when he got home. He was cutting up the tomatoes ready to make a start on the sauce when Superstar by The Carpenters came on. Steve immediately leaned across to his phone and turned it up. He started to sing along louder than he had been, relaxed and happy. Steve _never_ sang in front of anyone - he hated his voice and was more self-conscious about that than anything but he was alone now and sang as loud as he dared, really going for it. Bucky was the only person who knew about Steve's secret love for The Carpenters and was sworn to absolute secrecy on the matter. If Clint or Tony ever found out he liked them he could look forward to daily taunting for the rest of his life.

He was getting _so_ into it, he almost jumped out of his skin when Bucky started to sing loudly behind him. "Don't you remember you told me you loved me baby..."

Steve spun around, his face turning red as Bucky danced into the kitchen behind him. "You said you'd be coming back this way again baby..." When the hell had he come in?

Steve groaned and put his hands over his face but Bucky pried them away, laughing and singing louder. "Baby, baby, baby, baby, oh baby...!"

"Great, yes. You caught me singing..." Steve said and tried to push Bucky away with his elbows because his hands were wet with tomato juice.

"So this is what you really do when I'm not here? Sing along to your Secret Shame and shake your little tush?"

"I was _not_ shaking my tush!" Steve exclaimed, trying to sound pissed off but failing. "How long were you standing there anyway?"

Bucky laughed harder and leaned against the fridge. "Long enough. And you _were_ shaking your butt - it was so cute." He noticed the food on the counter and stepped forward for a better look. His face softened and he looked touched. "Are you making Melanzane for me?"

Steve was scrubbing his hands at the sink, glad that Bucky couldn't see his face because he was reeling slightly from the fact that Bucky had called him cute. He had _never_ called Steve cute in all the years he had known him. Why had he decided to use that particular word now? He gathered himself and dried his hands.

"Yeah, it was meant to be a surprise. You've been so down lately with work and all - " He stopped and quickly looked at his phone. "It's 3:45pm. Why are you home already?"

Bucky let out a long tired sigh. "I got into a big fight with Lukin and I uh...I got suspended." He saw the shocked look on Steve's face and held up his hands. "I didn't punch him or anything - it was a verbal fight. It was... _recommended_ that I take some personal days to calm down." He clenched his jaw and looked away. "Sorry Stevie," he said quietly.

"Buck, you don't have to apologise to me. I'm on your side, remember?"

"You'd be the only one," Bucky said with a sad smile. "Anyway, let me get changed and I'll help you out with dinner. You didn't have to do this, you know." He looked grateful and happy.

"I know," Steve replied with a smile of his own and turned back to the tomatoes. He heard Bucky move away a few minutes later and head to his room. Steve wondered what he had been thinking about.

***

Bucky was cheerful as he helped with dinner and Steve knew that the surprise was appreciated. Bucky even found Steve's Carpenters only playlist on his phone and they both sang along to Please Mr Postman and shook their butts to the music, laughing hysterically as they did. Bucky bumped hips with Steve a few times too, grinning at him. Steve didn't think he could get any happier.

When the Melanzane was in the oven and the salad was made, they flopped down onto the couch. Neither of them reached for the TV remote and Bucky leaned his head back and stared up at the ceiling, his mind obviously on what had happened at work. Steve watched him for a minute and then nudged Bucky's thigh with his foot.

"You want to talk about it?"

Bucky turned to look at him. "Not really. I think I just want to enjoy being away from work until I go back next week. Then I'll worry about it. Anyway, I get to hang out with you for a few days." He smiled and shook Steve's foot.

Whenever Bucky had a day off in the week, which had become rarer these days, all they would really do was watch movies while Steve worked or listen to music as Bucky read on the couch and Steve drew and it was nice. Sometimes they would go hours without speaking, just content to be in each other's company. Steve thought, _Is this what being in love with someone is like? Being_ _so comfortable with a person you don't even have to speak to each other?_ They had always been like that though, happy to wile away summer vacations reading comic books together or drawing together without a word spoken between them for long stretches.

Steve felt a sharp pang in his chest and smiled back at Bucky. Yeah, he had always been in love with him.

***

On Friday, Steve worked while Bucky lounged on the couch with a book. He couldn't help but look up at him every once in a while; Bucky had always been good-looking but he seemed to get more handsome the older he got. He was going through a short-haired phase at the moment but Steve knew he would get bored soon and start to grow it out again. It was flopping mostly in his face in a side-parting but he hadn't bothered to put any product in it like he would if he was going to work. Steve had never thought about running his hands through it before but now it was all he could think about. He turned back to the spot-the-difference picture he was sketching out and ran a hand through his own short hair, wondering what it would feel like if Bucky was doing it instead.

"What's up, Steve? You look a little intense," Bucky said from the couch and Steve looked up. Bucky was grinning at him. "You've been making some weird faces lately."

Steve just pointed weakly to the stack of sketches beside him. "Just trying to get through all of this. Do you know what you're wearing to Nat's party tomorrow?"

Bucky rested his open book on his chest. "Probably just nice jeans and a shirt. Maybe a tie. Why?"

Steve shrugged. "Just wondering. I'll probably wear something similar." He chewed the inside of his cheek for a second and started to sketch again so he couldn't see Bucky's reaction to his next question. "Are you taking anyone?"

Bucky made a weird snorting sound. "Uh, who would I take?"

Steve glanced up at him and Bucky was staring at him with a slightly odd, amused expression on his face. "I don't know. Clint said we each had a plus one. I didn't know if there was anyone at work you wanted to bring along. Or if you'd...met someone lately or something." He wasn't entirely sure why he'd started on this line of questioning and was beginning to regret it.

"Steve, I haven't been on a date in like six months and there's no-one at work I'd want to take. What's got you asking this all of a sudden anyway?"

Steve shrugged nonchalantly, or as best he could manage. Bucky was still eyeing him and Steve was finding it hard to decipher the look on his face.

Eventually Bucky just raised his book again. "You're my plus one. So dress up nice, okay? I don't want people thinking I live with a hobo who has no fashion sense when I walk in. "

He yelped when Steve threw his eraser and it hit Bucky in the forehead.

***

After fretting for most of Saturday over what he was going to wear to the party, Steve eventually settled on the new navy blue shirt he'd gotten from Bucky for his birthday that he hadn't worn yet and a matching navy blue tie. He had washed his new dark blue jeans, slightly tighter than he usually liked but Bucky had talked him into buying them, saying he suited skinnier fitting jeans. He looked in the mirror as he fixed his hair and made a face - there was definitely too much blue going on. Working from home meant he'd slipped into a weird kind of acceptance with not dressing up too much; he lived in jeans, hoodies and t-shirts and he had started to get very self-conscious when he had to wear anything else and he could not for the life of him tell if he looked good or like an idiot. He smoothed the front of his shirt and adjusted his tie and went to go and get Bucky's opinion.

"Buck? Can you come here a sec? I need you to tell me if my clothes are stupid." He stood in the living room and flexed his legs a few times, trying to make sure the jeans he had on weren't _too_ constrictive.

"Let me just finish my hair, I'll be right out," Bucky called back.

Steve bit back a smirk - Bucky could be ready in two minutes flat when it came to choosing his outfit but he was notoriously fussy with his hair. Steve closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. He was looking forward to the party but he was still a mess of mixed emotions about his feelings towards Bucky. He just wanted any sign that he wasn't losing his mind and making a huge mistake, not that he could do much about the way he felt anyway. He opened his eyes and almost stopped breathing because Bucky had somehow _again_ managed to enter the room without Steve hearing but...

...he looked incredible. He was wearing a black shirt and jeans with a red tie, his hair swept neatly back from his face, still in that side-parting he favoured. His grey-blue eyes looked wide and surprised. A shiver ran throughout Steve's whole body and he hoped he would get away with looking like he been startled instead.

"Jeez, Buck. You think you could start making some more noise when you enter a room?" Steve laughed nervously and watched as Bucky blinked a couple of times and his brow creased slightly as he took in Steve's outfit.

Steve immediately became worried and tugged at his shirt. "Does it look that bad? Should I put on my - "

Bucky just shook his head quickly. "No, I...uh...you look _amazing_ , Stevie."

The same warm hands that had been squeezing Steve's heart steadily for the last week clenched tighter. "I look okay?"

Bucky finally smiled and walked over to him. He fixed Steve's collar. "You look really cute," he said. That was the second time he'd called Steve cute in as many days.

Steve could feel the blush rising up his neck and knew he was powerless to stop it. "Thank you," he said softly. "You look really handsome."

Bucky smiled wider. "Well, it's not hard," he joked but Steve swore he saw him do the thing he did with his eyes when he was nervous - just a quick sideways aversion, so quick he questioned if it had happened - but he could easily have been mistaken. Steve wasn't sure what to say next; his mouth felt dry.

"Is my part straight?" Bucky asked and he dipped his head towards Steve. Before Steve could stop himself, he raised his hand and gently traced the neat line along Bucky's scalp, his knuckles gently grazing the dark chestnut hair that felt as soft as it looked. The touch didn't last any longer than five seconds but Bucky's breath caught in his throat at the contact and Steve immediately moved back a few inches. Things suddenly felt...different.

"Yep, it's fine," Steve said, his voice high and pinched.

Bucky seemed to search Steve's eyes for a few seconds, but then he was smiling again and turned to get his good shoes from by the front door. "Bruce'll be here in a few minutes to pick us up. You know what shoes you're wearing?"

Steve nodded. "Yeah, the black ones."

Bucky tossed them over to him and Steve concentrated extra hard on tying his laces.

***

Had there not been at least twenty people crammed into Tony's loft apartment to act as witnesses, Nat would most definitely have murdered Clint where he stood. The look on her face as she walked through the door to a simultaneous squall of "SURPRISE!" was nothing short of white-hot fury.

"Oh, fuck you _all_ ," she said when she overcame the shock. Everyone laughed and whooped and swept in to hug her before she could hate them all too much.

Steve and Bucky squished her in an embrace together when it was their turn and she hugged them back and then pulled away with a pout. "Barnes, I thought if anyone would have warned me about this _nightmare_ it would have been you. We've shared spit for Christ's sake."

Bucky laughed. "Yeah, seventeen years ago. And also, gross."

She turned to Steve and pointed at him. "And I expect better from _you_."

"Nat, it's your 30th. We had to do it."

Nat glared at them. "Well, Clint knows to stay the hell away from me for another hour at least. There had better be some good presents to make up for this horrendous betrayal of trust or else I'm going to tear this place apart." She gave them both a weak punch in the arm and then headed over to the food table.

Bucky got them both another beer and they stood around chatting to everyone for a while. The atmosphere was relaxed and fun and the music was great; not so loud that everyone had to shout to be heard but loud enough that a lot of people were dancing. Nat had apparently forgiven Clint for the whole surprise thing and was pressed up next to him as he was playing at being DJ on Tony's laptop. Steve felt good; he'd received a lot of compliments about how nice he looked that evening and coupled with the beer and being close to Bucky all night, he was buzzed.

Bucky handed Steve his drink. "Wow, I gotta take a leak like _right now_. Don't go anywhere," and he hurried off to the bathroom.

As soon as he was gone, Sam was next to Steve holding the most ridiculous looking cocktail he'd ever seen.

"What the hell is that?" Steve laughed and poked at the paper umbrella, glittery stick thing, a kebob skewer loaded with pineapple and what looked like a tulip.

Sam rolled his eyes. "Tony is making up his own drinks. Apparently this is an Asgardian Sunrise and I have to say, it tastes like lighter fluid. It's getting the job done though. So what the hell, man? Did you say anything to Bucky? About...you know?"

Steve quickly looked around. No-one was paying any attention to them. "No. It's been a really weird week. I don't know how to approach it."

Sam gave him a confused look. "You haven't told him?"

Steve shook his head. "No, why? Is it really obvious? Oh shit, it is, isn't it? Oh my god..." Steve flipped straight over into panic mode.

Sam waved his arms in what was meant to be a calming motion but just ended up spraying half of the decorative embellishments of his cocktail on the floor around them. "Dude, chill. You're not making anything obvious, but _he_ sure as hell is."

Steve squinted at him for a moment. "Who, Bucky?"

"Who else are we talking about?!"

Steve shook his head. "No, he can't be...he's just acting like he always does. Nothing seems any different with him."

Sam snorted. "Are you sure? Because he has _not_ taken his eyes off of you since you both walked in here. And if you seem to think that he isn't acting any differently towards you Steve, then I have to say that I think Bucky's been into you for a _long_ time."

Steve shook his head again. "But that's not...why wouldn't he have said anything?"

"Same reasons you haven't, probably. Did you expect that he would be acting differently if he had feelings for you? Like, riding around on a unicycle holding up a sign with "I Love Steve" written on it?"

"No, but...I would notice...if he...wouldn't I?"

Sam glanced behind him to make sure that Bucky wasn't on his way back and threw an arm over Steve's shoulder. "Steve, remember when I said I thought you and Bucky were a thing when we first met? Well, now looking at you two," he shook his head in amusement, "there is definitely _something_ there. How has no-one else ever _not_ said anything to you guys about it?"

"I...don't know." Steve didn't want to think it could be true, just in case it wasn't. Had they just been side-stepping each other all these years?

Sam nodded towards the bathroom in warning and took a mouthful of his cocktail, wincing slightly at the taste and Bucky appeared, reaching for his beer from Steve. He snorted at Sam's drink.

"Wow, now _that_ is a cocktail. I need one of those immediately."

Sam pointed over to the bar where Tony was having the time of his life making the drinks; Rhodey looked like he was about to pass out and Melinda was draped over Phil who looked like he didn't know what to do with himself. "They're all one of a kind. You should get a couple before he starts adding ketchup. Remember what I said, Steve." He grinned and headed off to talk to Carol.

"Remember what?" Bucky asked, draining the rest of his beer and setting the bottle on the bookcase.

"Oh, just that I should dress like this more often," Steve said quickly.

Bucky smiled. "You really should," he said and Steve's stomach tried to relocate into his legs. "Come on, let's get one of those crazy cocktails." He put his arm around Steve and they walked over to the bar.

***

"Oh god, mine tastes like chocolate Peeps and cough syrup," Steve said and tried to move aside the spatula Tony had insisted on "finishing off" his cocktail with. His had been christened the MODOK Mule, whatever the hell that meant.

Bucky doubled over laughing, desperately trying not to spill his own cocktail; his tasted like bananas and marguerita mix and had been cryptically dubbed the 616. He had a wooden spoon in his for decoration; it seemed like Tony had run out of actual decorations and had resorted to using whatever he could find in the kitchen, much to Pepper's dismay. "These are disgusting," he howled taking another sip of his and then laughed some more and put the drink down on a chair. "Yeah, I can't finish that without ending up in the hospital."

Steve laughed with him, pink cheeked and kind of tipsy. "Same. We tried them. I think that's enough."

They were both stood by the double doors leading out to Tony's balcony but it was way too cold to go outside. They leaned against the glass instead and watched the party together, smiling at everyone and listening to the music. Steve was happy and a little giddy and was still thinking about what Sam had said earlier. He turned to get a quick glance at Bucky only to find him watching him, his eyes wide and soulful.

Bucky smiled and there was something nervous about it. "Having a good time?"

Steve nodded. "Yeah, I am. I think we both needed this."

"You really do look great tonight, Steve." Bucky's voice sounded soft and hesitant.

Steve tucked his hands under his armpits. "I guess I scrub up okay," he said with a small self-deprecating laugh.

"I...think you look great all the time."

Steve's stomach did that slow roll once again. "Even with toothpaste all down my shirt?"

Bucky looked away back over to the party. "With toothpaste down your shirt, when you're tired and grouchy because you've been working all hours trying to meet a deadline, when you're laughing at something on the TV, when you make me things without asking and act like it was nothing. I like how you look all the time." His voice had dropped so low that Steve could just about hear it.

And that's when Steve knew that Bucky loved him back, that he always had and Steve had just been too oblivious to notice. He'd been too oblivious to notice that Bucky hadn't been on a date for ages and the ones he had been on before never went any further, that most of the time he'd come home early and watched a movie with him instead. He'd been too oblivious to see that when Bucky smiled at him, his eyes had been asking for Steve to notice how he felt. He'd been too oblivious to notice that Bucky had stuck by him all these years, never wanting to be with anyone else. Until Steve had realized how he felt himself, one evening out of the blue while making dinner, he had never entertained the idea that Bucky could feel any other way about him than as a friend even though, deep down, he had always wanted more. He'd been a total clueless _idiot_.

"Buck?" Steve said and when Bucky turned to look at him he gently grabbed Bucky's tie and tugged on it.

Bucky's face was a mixture of fear and hope and he swallowed noisily, almost comically. "What?"

Steve tugged on his tie harder and Bucky inched forward. "Come here. I need to tell you something."

Bucky's eyes never left his and they were so close that Steve could smell the terrible banana cocktail on Bucky's breath, but he knew that neither of them were all that tipsy anymore.

"What?" Bucky breathed again and Steve yanked on his tie and pressed their lips together. There wasn't any hesitation in Bucky kissing him back and he immediately wrapped his arms around Steve's waist and pulled him closer. Steve's head felt light and fuzzy and he heard someone shout, Sam most likely, and people started to clap and cheer. He didn't care that they were being watched or that Tony was already shouting something lewd. Steve kept one hand on Bucky's tie and raised the other to his neck as they kissed and everything finally made total sense.

After what seemed like forever but must have just been three minutes at best, they pulled away and smiled at each other.

Bucky looked dazed and flushed. "Please tell me you're not drunk."

"I couldn't feel more sober if I tried," Steve said and Bucky's face broke into a huge dazzling smile. He leaned in and kissed Steve again, lips soft and tender.

"Thank God," Bucky muttered and he cupped Steve's jaw gently and pulled away. "Steven Grant Rogers, I have been in love with you forever."

Steve's stomach felt the same way it did when they had gone on the rollercoaster at Coney Island. "Really?"

Bucky nodded. "I've almost gone crazy at least..." he tilted his head and pretended to think. "Seventy-two thousand, one hundred and fifty-four times wondering if you felt the same way. Well, seventy-two thousand, one hundred and fifty- _five_ times if you count how weird you've been acting all week."

Steve laughed and played with the hair at the nape of Bucky's neck, very much liking how Bucky's hands felt on his waist. "Yeah, it just kind of hit me that I was in love with you too. Sorry it took me so long to catch up."

Bucky's smile softened and he stroked Steve's face. "Steve, I would have waited a lifetime for you to catch up."

"You're such a sap," Steve said but he kissed Bucky again feeling happier and more complete than he'd ever felt before.

After a few seconds, there was a simultaneous cry of "GET A ROOM!" from everyone else at the party and they finally broke away, laughing and blushing but accepting the cheers and jibes. Bucky took Steve's hand and they walked back to the party.

Nat came running over, giddy and a little wobbly from her own horrendous looking cocktail but ecstatic. "I take it back; I don't want to kill anyone anymore. It was worth the surprise party for this to happen. I'm not the center of attention anymore _thank fuck_." She grabbed them both roughly by the necks and hugged them.

Bucky kissed her on the temple and then pulled away. "Thanks Nat. I just have to go do something. Be right back," and before Steve could say anything he hurried off.

Sam bounded over giggling happily and slapped Steve on the back. "Well, I'll never let it be said that you don't get things done, man! Congrats!"

Steve grinned, still a little overwhelmed by everything. "Yeah, I think I - "

But before he could finish whatever it was he was going to say, the music suddenly stopped and Close To You by The Carpenters started to blare. Steve groaned and covered his face as everyone around them started to laugh and cheer again. Bucky walked back over to him with a huge dopey smile on his face.

"Really?" Steve asked as Bucky took Steve's hand and pulled him close, resting his other hand on Steve's waist. Steve placed his hand on Bucky's shoulder and they started to sway together. A few other couples joined in so Steve didn't feel all that silly. Bucky didn't seem to give two shits.

"Everyone was going to find out about your terrible taste in music at _some_ point. Besides, this song perfectly sums up how I feel about you."

Steve couldn't help the smile that came. "Do birds suddenly appear?"

Bucky laughed. "Yep. Stars fall down from the sky, too. But "hair of gold" and "eyes of blue"? This song is totally about you."

Steve laughed softly and rubbed his nose against Bucky's. "Yeah, but I never get followed around by all the girls in town."

"Good," Bucky whispered. "I get to have you all to myself."

They danced together silently for the rest of the song and Steve couldn't wait for the rest of his life with Bucky to finally begin. After the track had ended, Tony insisted that everyone try his latest cocktail which he called the Stucky.

It had ketchup in it.

**Author's Note:**

> I've been very lucky to discover that a couple of very talented artists took the time to draw some fan art for a couple of my fics which is just so flattering it's beyond belief.
> 
> Here's a great little sketch for To Be Vulnerable Is Needed Most Of All by clay-air [here](http://clay-air.tumblr.com/post/106743529743/doodling-a-scene-from-one-of-my-favorite-fanfics)
> 
> Here's an awesome WIP for Grief And Happiness And All The Letters In-Between by misspaperjoker [here](http://misspaperjoker.tumblr.com/post/112966804954/i-recently-purchased-a-wacom-tablet-so-i-am)
> 
> These have made me so happy! :D


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